you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
