K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
