is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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