i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
