He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Less talking, more tequila
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
