You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
