Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I use my feet as sexual weapons
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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