Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Ladies don't puke and tell
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
