you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode