His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Be still, my beating vagina.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
