Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"

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(813): View more from Florida

watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...

(863): View more from Florida

Can I come live with you?

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(781): View more from Massachusetts

Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?

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(301): View more from Maryland

I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.

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(785): View more from Kansas

apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man

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(310): View more from California

We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.

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