Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
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Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
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How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.