every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.