I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
