The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The best revenge is premature balding
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
