how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
