Dual....:-)
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
