her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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