I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
