Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
