Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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