SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
