Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize