so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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