i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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