Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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