Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
