I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize