one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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