No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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