Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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