: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
