Kareoke will never be a sober sport
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
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