i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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