wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
