the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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