you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
