Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
