okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
