I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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