I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
