Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
