I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
its not stalking. its research.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
