Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
