all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
