I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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