sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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