Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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