Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
