i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
