Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
