Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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