It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Randomize
