Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
