well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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