i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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