Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
