True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
What drink are we having for lunch?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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