ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
