Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Randomize
