I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
