one might say we're banned from that church
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Randomize
