He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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