I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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