just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now