i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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